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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:30 pm 
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Rebel: 250
Country: USA
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City: Amherst
Yep. A lot of my job is like that. People who don't understand that upper- and lower-case letters are different, people who don't understand when I say something can't be a letter or a number, people who don't understand that their computer won't work if it isn't plugged in....


On the other hand, sometimes I have people who walk into my office in tears because they've just lost three years of research, and walk out with their data on a DVD. Those are the days that keep me doing this job. (Though that doesn't stop me from tearing into them for not having backups... we tell people to make backups for a REASON!)

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:23 pm 
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I can literally relate to that...

I used to be in charge of backup services for people all over the world who had their servers hosted with the company I used to work for.

Imagine their disgust when they realize not only they have lost their data, they also have no backups. Simply subscribing to a backup service does not install the software, configure the software, or backup the data. "But I've been paying for backups for 2 years!" "And I told you every month for 2 years that you were not backing anything up, and you ignored me every time." "That's your job!" "No, my job is to provide the service. You chose not to use the service I provided. That's like paying for telephone service for 2 years and never giving anyone your number and never placing a call. You still have to pay for the privilege to use the service- using the service is your responsibility."

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"I'm No Expert"
2004 Rebel 250 (sold after 12,903 miles)
2007 KTM 525 EXC
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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:17 pm 
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Motorcycle: Suzuki C50; BMW G650GS
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Country: USA
State/Province: IN
City: Scottsburg
Yep, I work in IT also. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.
Students and faculty, who fail to read and follow simple 4th grade English directions, arghhh (and we are in a University).


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:27 am 
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Motorcycle: '00 V-Star 650 Classic
Rebel: 450
Country: USA
State/Province: PA
City: Marietta
davidc83 wrote:
Yep, I work in IT also. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.
Students and faculty, who fail to read and follow simple 4th grade English directions, arghhh (and we are in a University).


When I was in IT those are the types we called ID-10-T problems. I got out of the business to keep what little sanity I have left intact, but have found that no matter what business you get in to, there are always ID10Ts...


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:35 pm 
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Motorcycle: 2008 FLHRC Road King Classic
Rebel: 250
Country: united States
State/Province: In
City: Peru
I absolutly loved this story, but it also mad me sad. Sad in the fact that the parts guys are American and that somewhere someone from another country is convinced all Americans are just as stupid.

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:31 pm 
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Rebel: 250
Country: USA
State/Province: MA
City: Amherst
cagie wrote:
davidc83 wrote:
Yep, I work in IT also. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.
Students and faculty, who fail to read and follow simple 4th grade English directions, arghhh (and we are in a University).


When I was in IT those are the types we called ID-10-T problems. I got out of the business to keep what little sanity I have left intact, but have found that no matter what business you get in to, there are always ID10Ts...



We had to stop using ID10T -- our users figured it out. I've started referencing things as "Oh, this is the well known CKI problem. CKI? Oh, it's some technical acronym... I can never remember those." (CKI = Chair/Keyboard Interface)

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 4:34 pm 
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Motorcycle: 2014 CB500XA
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Country: USA
State/Province: AZ
City: Green Valley
Send them here:

http://www.hackerhighschool.org/

They will be expected to think & work, but they can learn lots.

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Motorcycle: 5 Shadows, 3 Rebels
Rebel: 250
Country: U.S.S.A.
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City: Las VLX-as
Someone posted a dealership experience at the VLX board I host and it just sounded disturbingly familiar. What was it...oh, yesssss...it would appear that Duke's infamous Harley Dolt now resides in Memphis.

From the other board:

Quote:
I know a bunch of folk ride Victory's and I'm sure they have gotten good service from their dealer, but....the following is my experience today at the Victory dealer on the west side of Memphis.

I know I am not the only person that has ridden motorcycles, nor the first one to see certain prejudices from certain brands. "I don't ride a real bike", 'cause its a "scooter". Anyway enough of that, just to set the stage. This morning when we awoke in Jackson, Virginia it was raining cats and dogs. The girls and I suited up and started our daily adventure. Somewhere between Jackson and Memphis, Elaine's head light went out. Not surprising, since it had a crack from and earlier mishap, following a truck. Anyway, for the stupid part, the part that "chaps my @$$"! We pulled into Memphis and saw a Victory dealership. OK, she rides a Honda. I asked for an H-4 headlight bulb (which I could have found at an auto parts if one had been near, I know). The Dumb$#!t behind the counter stated he couldn't help me since all his parts were Victory parts. If I didn't have the Victory part number I was out of luck. You mean you can't go back into your parts bin and pull out a couple bulbs? Not without the Victory part number. @$$ is thoroughly chapped at this point. I'm wet, I'm totally smurfed.

Anyway I cross the street to a Harley dealer. Asked the same question and within seconds I had the desired part in hand. He even allowed me to use the parking lot to swap them out and gave me some clear packing tape for the lens so that maybe the headlight would last us till we get home. Harley just stepped up a notch or three in my book!

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:02 am 
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Motorcycle: Suzuki Gsf1250
Rebel: 450
Country: Canada
State/Province: NB
City: Rusagonis
One hopes these narratives find their way to the Victory head office so the local dealership can be tuned up. If you want to convert a Honda rider to a Victory rider, perhaps some evidence of dealership cooperative spirit might help make that change. the only rational explanation for such an event, if it is policy, is that their bikes break down so often, they need to hoard all their parts, including light bulbs, to keep their bikes on the road. When a Honda rider gets treated better at a Harley dealership than he/she did at YOUR dealership, it might be time to re-examine your business model.

Hey, remember when it was the CUSTOMER"s job to describe the part he needed using descriptive prose, and it was the PARTS GUY's job to determine the part number? Cause it was his company's part number, not the customer's part number. I've started to notice that, online and in real life, I'm being asked way too frequently:"do you have a part number?" Regrettably, I usually do, but that's because, with a few exceptions, I've lost faith in the parts guys.

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:11 pm 
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Motorcycle: 98 Valkyrie
Rebel: 250
Country: USA
State/Province: GA
City: Vidalia
wheezeburnt wrote:
because, with a few exceptions, I've lost faith in the parts guys.


AMEN!


My company's making changes that have me considering moving on, all of them related to customer service. Our last CFO retired and his replacement is big on the "well you have to train your customers to X " or "you're customers are going to have to X" or "eventually they will come around to the idea that they are going to have to X"--

you know, I hate retail. I got into this completely by accident, but I stayed because I rather enjoyed the company itself, and it's old-fashioned attitudes and the way they did things.

With those going out the window, there's just _nothing_ left to make the abuse worthwhile.

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Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:30 am 
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Motorcycle: Suzuki Gsf1250
Rebel: 450
Country: Canada
State/Province: NB
City: Rusagonis
...sounds like the plan is to train the customers to go elsewhere.

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"If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem" G.Carlin


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:37 pm 
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Joined: Mar 19, 2010
Motorcycle: Yamaha Midnight Virago 920
Rebel: 250
Country: USA
State/Province: MI
City: Near Ann Arbor
Can I still get a "circle saw", not a "Skill saw" ? :D

Sorry Duke, just couldn't resist

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 5:10 pm 
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City: Vidalia
You _can_, but the company (or rather, the new CFO) has decided it will save X hundreds of dollars a year by not printing receipts but _may_ be persuaded, if there's time, to e-mail you one-- and keep in mind that the CFO has also instituted a new loss-prevention program that includes "no returns / refunds without a receipt" and one really has to wonder if this is really where you want to buy it....

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Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 6:40 am 
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Motorcycle: 5 Shadows, 3 Rebels
Rebel: 250
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State/Province: NV
City: Las VLX-as
Wow.

Someone finally upstaged Target.

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"Ride Safe, Chop Safer"
Dismantling, sawzalling, and rattle canning does not make a bobber. That's called an "ANCHOR".
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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:40 pm 
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Joined: Jul 25, 2003
Motorcycle: 98 Valkyrie
Rebel: 250
Country: USA
State/Province: GA
City: Vidalia
I've been hunting two part-timers to replace a full-timer that moved a couple of months ago. Yes; I've been looking for a couple of months.

I figured, with so many people out of work, it would be fairly easy to fill the positions.

Sadly, evidently only the really stupid ones are looking for work.

Two cases from recent weeks:

Guy comes in BAREFOOT (:shock:) wearing camo fatigue pants cinched up around his thighs, the cuffs of the pants shredded. Wife-beater T-shirt with about eight days worth of food stains on it. "Are you hiring?"

"Yes I am."

"Can I get an application?"

"No you cannot."

Dumb confused look.



Next example (and my favorite thus far, but it doesn't work if you don't know that I'm a bit hard of hearing):

Young (very young) lady comes into the store with a small little baby belly just starting to show. "Excuse me, are y'all hiring right now?"

"Yes Ma'am I am, but the only thing I need right now is a part-time cashier. If you're interested, I'll get you an application."

"Oh, I'm very interested, but before I get a application [sic], is it a lot of heaving lifting [sic]?"

Alarms going off, I reply "what do you mean 'heaving lifting'?"

"Well I currently have a job that I'm going to have to quit because it's a lot [sic] of heaving lifting, and I'm going to be pregnant for sixteen more months."

As I said before, I don't hear well. It really sounded like she said 'sixteen more months.' With full courtesy and aplomb, I ask for clarification. "I'm sorry; I didn't catch that...?"

"I'm two months pregnant."

So... six, seven more months?"

"Oh no! Doctor say it's twins [sic]" she proclaimed proudly, rubbing her belly.

"Well I'm afraid that the cashiers are in charge of all the loading for the trucks, Ma'am; you may want to try somewhere else...."

Ugh.

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Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 10:45 pm 
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Motorcycle: 2009 Honda Rebel 250
Rebel: 250
Country: USA
State/Province: TX
City: Dallas
I wish her offspring well....

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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:08 am 
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Motorcycle: 5 Shadows, 3 Rebels
Rebel: 250
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State/Province: NV
City: Las VLX-as
It' a good thing she's not carrying triplets.

_________________
"Ride Safe, Chop Safer"
Dismantling, sawzalling, and rattle canning does not make a bobber. That's called an "ANCHOR".
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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 9:08 am 
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Motorcycle: Rebel 250 plus a few others
Rebel: 250
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State/Province: NB
City: Fredericton
Hey Duke... You couldn't make this stuff up... :-)

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2004 BMW R1200GS
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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 5:49 pm 
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City: Vidalia
If I could make up stuff like this, I'd be on stage somewhere. :lol:

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Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Official Dudeman Thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:45 pm 
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Motorcycle: 98 Valkyrie
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City: Vidalia
This one is posted elsewhere, from years ago, and I just spent a few hours searching for it (conversation with my daughter a few hours ago had me wanting to find it and see if she remembered the occasion).

At any rate, having finally found it, I felt it belonged here, too: sometimes... well, to paraphrase Pogo, "We has seen the Dudeman, and he is _us_!"



Enjoy:

Duke wrote:
Post, I mean-- a hit and run post, not the other kind of hit-and-run.

Had to pass up the chance to meet Hercman; had to go to Brunswick over some issues with Pop.

Anyway, a funny thing happened...

Short history:

I've been putting off installing a new ignition switch in the Valk for about five years or so. I wanted to do something particular to the switch and the wiring, so in the meantime, I was making do with repeated repairs to the stocker.

A few days ago, I tore the bike down (you'd be amazed just how deep you have to tear it down to get to the harness for that thing! :shock: ) and examined the latest round of over-current damage, and decided that it really couldn't be repaired again. In a half-hearted attempt to save some money for a new switch, I thought "well, I'll get out the fire iron (I have two types of soldering tools-- those that use heat alone: a small torch heats the element-- and those that that use electricity in various ways) and make a stab at it, just to convince myself that it's futile.

And I mean _futile_. There is nothing left of the original brass contacts. Over the last few years, they have been completely replaced by high-temperature silver solder. :lol:

I opted for the fire iron so that I would not have to be bothered with removing the battery (the only thing that _didn't_ have to come off to get to the harness, it seems :lol: ). Well after about twenty minutes, it was looking more and more like "well, if this, then this, and then that, and if this other thing, then this and this, and yeah! I could fix it one last time!"

(for the record, there's a design flaw-- too much current going through too small a contact set, and the upgraded headlight hasn't helped a bit).

So I decided to grab the Big Guns-- the solder scissors (many of you may know it as the Triton PTH tool)-- to really get some heat in there and do some damage ;)

The Triton isn't like other tools. It's a set of -- well, it looks like pliers with a push button. The tips are solid carbon. There's a massive transformer, and it uses extremely low voltage, super-high amperage current running through the object to produce heat. And it works like nobody's business.

About five minutes into the job with the Triton, I heard that familiar popping sound that, roughly translated from circuit-speak, means "Hey, stupid. You forgot to disconnect the battery, and it just cost you one or more fuses (if your lucky)."

Disgusted with my own stupidty, I threw an Irish fit, in the process and the darkness of the hour, managing to scatter most of the teeny tiny parts I needed to put it back together anyway.

So I went inside and ordered a switch.

It came today, and I grabbed it and a 30a fuse (figuring it was the main that I had blown) and headed out to the backyard with my trusty mechanic's apprentice. I threw back the tarp (rain, etc; there was too much dis assembly to put it back together only to tear it apart again in three or four days), slipped in the fuse, and snapped the plug into the harness.

Thus prepared to test the new switch, I turned the key, and there was light! I hit the starter button, and she roared to life. I rolled the choke back a bit and gave her a couple of soft revs to smooth the idle. Wondering if I'd blown anything in the charging circuit, I picked up my meter and read the battery. 14.1 at idle; good so far. I reached for the throttle so that I could rev the engine and see where the charge peaked.

As I grabbed the throttle, the bike died. "Okay," I thought. "I took the choke off a bit too soon; she's been sitting here for nearly a week, watching me come and go on the other bikes. Just needs to warm up a bit longer." So I slid the choke back on a bit more, hit the button, and she barked back to life.

Rumbling, sputtering, stalling...

Then she died again.

That didn't sound right at all, not at all.

Curious to see what else I'd blown up with my failure to disconnect the battery, I metered everything I could find. I checked fuses; I traced wires--

There was no question that I was not only getting spark (I pulled all six plugs, one at a time to check), and that I was getting plenty of it.

Thinking perhaps I had buggered up the choke cable (it _had_ pulled funny that second time), I traced and checked it, pulled it lose from one end to see if it had rusted and broken-- nothing. Same with the throttle cables.

I began checking the millions of vacuum lines (and found a couple that need replacing ASAP)-- at this point, the sun was going down (mail runs about 4 pm here) and I was getting irritated.

My wife came out and asked some questions, and my mood mandated that I bite my tongue, though I apparently hit a nerve in spite of myself, because she simply fired off "I bet I know what the problem is!" and went back inside.

How do you take that? You know the feeling-- those of you who turn wrenches for a living, anyway: You? You know the answer? YOU?! Listen, which one of us has actually made their living doing this? Which one of us is called at all hours by friends wanting to revive engines that haven't even seen the light of day for two or three decades? Which one of us has _thousands_ upon _thousands_ of hours rebuilding, diagnosing, repairing-- taking any machine and making it into something else? Which one of us carried your truck to the garage just to point out how your "expert" got it wrong? Which one of knows what's going on, finds the problem, and gets it done? Hunh? Which one of us? Which one of us do you _really_ think is going to get this resolved? Yeah, that's right. I thought so! Now why don't you run along and find something in your field of expertise that you can pass the time with, and leave this to the guy who _really_ knows what he's doing!"

But obviously, I am _not_ stupid. I didn't _say_ any of that. ;) I have to live here! :shock: Don't go thinkin' _I'm_ dumb! :lol: And really, it was just anger. My fuse was getting really short, and there was no one to kick but the moron who ran a thousand amps through a closed circuit the week before, right?

So there I was, forty five minutes later, still scratching my head and expanding my vocabulary. My apprentice had given up and gone down to the branch to chase lightning bugs.

About the time I was ready to make that hard decision: Do I cover it back up and try again tomorrow, or do I set fire to it and giggle maniacally while I watch it burn?, she came back up to the yard, looking bushed.

"Daddy, I need to sit down now."

"Well don't sit on the yard; it rained last night and you'll get all wet. It's getting too cool for that."

"Daddy?"

Control-- calm, cool. Don't get irritated with the child. "Yes, Dear?"

"Daddy, can I use that chair over there?"

"Yes, Baby; you can sit in that chair."

She walked off across the yard.

"Daddy?"

A long pause while I took my mind off the problem and calmed down again. "Yes, Baby?"

"Daddy, can I bring that chair over here where you are?"

"Yes, Honey; you bring the chair over here."

And again she tottered off across the yard.

Then she was back :evil: "Daddy?"

A much longer pause as I choked back the urge to bark out something I _knew_ I'd regret all the way to my grave. Breathe in; breathe out. Breathe in; breathe out. I could feel the blood trying to burst out through my neck. Finally, I could speak. "Yes, Sweetie?"

"Daddy, can you take your motorcycle gas tank out of that chair for me, please?"



:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

Some days, you're the sharpest knife in the box.

Some days, you're just another tool... :lol:

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Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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