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 Post subject: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 10:12 pm 
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Motorcycle: 98 Valkyrie
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Didn't have to work, so I slept in a bit. Didn't get about of bed until almost seven. Given the last few weeks of work, it was _AMAZING_! :mrgreen:


I got out of bed, called to the house----

No answer.

Hunh? That's odd. Well, it was a gorgeous day, and the wife knew I was near death, so perhaps she took the kids off somewhere for breakfast or something.

I walk downstairs and there are my progeny, Hammerhead and Noisy, sitting in front of a blaring television, both equally absorbed in their tablets (Thanks, Gra'maw! :evil: )-- one playing a game of some sort, the other watching a cartoon.

"Kids?"

"Kids?"



"KIDS!"

"Oh, hi Dad" from Noisy before she turns back to her cartoon. Hammerhead still had no idea there was a universe around him.

Well, carp. Bah-- I've got a list of stuff to get knocked out today, even before I can get to _my_ list of things I want to do. Best get started. I grabbed my laundry from the hamper and headed down stairs, then down stairs again. (One of the things I want to do someday is install a laundry chute! :evil: )

As I round through the ground floor den into the folding room, I see my wife, sitting between two baskets of the kid's laundry. No folding; no ironing. Just sitting there, staring at a screen. "Good morning, Babydoll!" I say and work up a fancy, flourishing greeting.

"MMmmm? Oh. Hi." Then right back to her screen.

Ain't this a fine situation. I try to hold in my discontent (those who have know me know that I don't watch much television. Those that have been around here a while have seen very lengthy absences, due mostly to the fact that I don't find as much joy in vegetating on the internet as most other folks do, either. I like to actually _do_ stuff. Seeing my entire family purposely suppress their alpha waves at sevenish in the morning put me a bit out of sorts, but then I thought "eh; it can't last forever. Reckon I'll get started on my doin's. [this is not possessive; it's the plural form of doin'. ;) )

An hour later, I ams back into the house. "Kids! I fixed the trampoline you've been so worried about. It's ready when you are."

Turns out they weren't ready. The didn't even look up from their screen. I went down stairs to check on my laundry. The wife was right where I left her. Now I'm not knocking the convenience of her having developed this nifty feature-- how many times have I wished I could find her simply by looking in the last place I left her? But the laundry was still untouched, and she was staring blankly into that accursed screen. I spoke. "You still want your tires looked at?"

No response. Stranger still, I was beginning to feel Christmas-y. cussed odd. Starting to actually get irritated, I turned and left. I decided to go ahead put chains on all the kid's swings (the ropes were looking pretty frayed, and one of them had popped) so as to test drive the wife's car. Yep. A bit of shudder at certain speeds. Likely time for a re-balance. I took it to a friend's tire shop and borrowed his truck to run a couple of errands. One balance and rotate later and I was headed home with some chain for the swings and a few of those threaded quick links to make the job a lithe faster and easier. Yeah; a bit of a splurge when a few cold shuts would work just as well, but I was trying to improve my mood so I treated myself to a bit of easy. :)

Got home. Kids still staring at their screens while the television blared. Something had changed, though. Now Hammerhead was watching a cartoon and Noisy was playing a game. Annoyed, I walked across the living room, picking way carefully through the mess that they still hadn't picked up from their living room campout the night before. I turned off the TV and told them that the swings were all fixed and asked about the trampoline. Turns out they didn't know because they "haven't had time to try it yet."

It's easy to say the wrong thing-- explosively wrong, particularly when your ire is rapidly becoming bile. I opted for the more difficult choice and said nothing. I didn't dare to. I went downstairs to shortcut to the back yard and get my laundry off the line. (The wife and kids are all about the dryer, but give me some nice stiff line-dried jeans and a delightfully-scratchy line-dried cotton towel _any_ day. It just feels right. That, and because it's easier on the fabrics, I have jeans that look nearly new that are older than my children. :lol: )

No matter how hard I fought it, I couldn't resist the temptation to peep into the folding room and see if my wife was still in there, glued to her screen. She wasn't! Delightful! Already in a better mood, I brought in my clothes, folded them, and bounced on up the two flights of stairs as if my day had always been perfect. I entered the master bedroom, and there she was! On the bed....
:halohorns: wearing only her unmentionables.... :sportbike: ....

glued to that *#@%*)(Y&*HOIO:M:)#@%Y#)-ing screen!!!!!!! :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious:

And why on earth, even as mad as I was, did I feel so cussed Christmas-y?!

I didn't even put my clothes up. I just placed them on top of my dresser and headed back downstairs. "Hey, kids! Who wants to help re-paint the swing?!" before you think I'm crazy, let me explain that for reasons I don't understand, this is a thing that they _love_ to do! I don't know why. I suspect it's because I _hate_ it. :lol: I just hate painting. I really do.

Noisy didn't even seem to hear me. Hammerhead never looked up either, but at least he spoke. "Nah. Not right now, Dad. Maybe later."

I went outside and painted about half the swing before I was calm enough to think "they _do_ enjoy this, and they _might_ actually tear themselves away from those stupid screens sometime today and we can finish it together."

I was sort of right. I mean, we didn't finish it, and they didn't tear themselves away from the screens. _I_ tore them away from the screens, eventually. I just ---

To those screen junkies who may be on this site (I can't really see it, though. I mean, we're here for _motorcycles_, right? Can't do _that_ on a screen! :D

At any rate, I confiscated the screens from the kids and told them they'd get them back when I saw _any_ sign of motion from them that looked significant enough to circulate blood to at least one extremity. I headed upstairs to confiscate the wife's screen. That didn't go so well (not that I figured it would :lol:), but I _did_ get her to turn it off. Oh-- and I figured out why I kept feeling all Christmas-y. Seems she was enjoying a marathon of Star Trek-- the good one, not the one with the bald guy the hypercephallic klingon. The one with Spock and McCoy. It's a long story, but it's not Christmas without reruns of that in the background.

Anyway--

The wife wasn't speaking to me (which she seemed to think was somehow different to when she was staring at that screen), but at least she was focusing more than two feet from her eyes.

The rest of the day didn't really turn out as productive as I'd hoped, and there was lots of arguing and squabbling from all corners, but hey-- at least it was with (though mostly _at_ ) other human beings, right?!

Then there was the time change here in the US. Trying to get the kids to bath and bed when they simply weren't anywhere near tired (likely because they hadn't _done_ a cussed thing _physical_ all day! That, and of course the fact that it just didn't feel like the right time.

Finally get them through their baths when the wife chimes up with "Oh! I've got to check my work e-mail!" and runs off to the computer. Not her little tablet thingy, but the computer-- where I'm standing now. She fires it up as I head to the linen closet to get a towel (house is odd: four bathrooms, but you can only run one shower at a time or one of you will freeze the other boil :lol: ).

The computer goes "Bomp!" The wife goes "Hunh?"

"What's wrong? Is it finally dead?" (something I've secretly wished for more often than I care to admit, though it's pointless now that my mother-- thinking she had bought them those e-reader thingies you can download books into bought them all tablet computers)

"No. There's a reminder that popped up."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah...." she says, confused.

"What's it say?"

"Nothing. It just has today's date and says 'Reminder!'"

"You didn't bother putting in anything you wanted to be reminded of?"

"I guess not..... "

"Why would you do that?"

"Well either it was important enough I figured I'd probably remember it anyway or else it wasn't important enough to bother finishing."

"Gotcha." I said it in that "yeah; _that_ makes sense :roll: " tone of voice and instantly regretted it. Fortunately, she heard it in that "Oh my GOD it feels so good to be staring at a screen again" glaze-eyed, deaf-eared tone, so the balance of the universe was maintained.

"Hey, kids!" she hollered.

Relieved at even this tiny reprieve from bedtime, they teleported into the room. Well, at least it was that fast. It was the sort of teleport where Dad gets trampled but can't quite tell from what.

"Did you put this on the computer?"

"Put what on the computer?" Their eyes were beginning to glaze. A desktop they'd seen a thousand times, but still-- it was better than any kind of real life. It _had_ to be: it was on a screeeeeeennnn......

"This reminder."

"What kind of reminder?"

"I don't know. I thought you might could tell me."

A chorus of "nope." I mean a chorus. It was like the more times they denied putting it there, the longer they could stay out of bed. :lol:

I headed off to the shower. She was still grilling them: "Do you have any idea what's supposed to be special about today?"

"No. But Mom, whatever it was you were supposed to do, you should probably write it in there next time."

"Thanks, Hammerhead."

"Well, Mom," chimed Noisy, "whatever it was, we've probably missed it. It's like after nine o'clock."

"I know _that_," a bit too much anger, but then, she's always been quick to irritation.

The bathroom door squeaks when you open it. Upon hearing it, she must have remembered there was someone else within earshot. "What about you?"

"'What about me' _what_, exactly?"

"Do you have any idea what today is?"

"Yeah." I acknowledged, pushing to door shut behind me. "It's my birthday."




And that's the story of how I turned fifty-six. :lol:

_________________

Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:28 am 
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Obviously, a belated Happy Birthday wish is in order.

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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:37 am 
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I'm not sure there's much to be said to assuage that level of a monstrous day. However... Happy Birthday!

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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 3:04 pm 
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:hug1:
C'mon. You know you want one. :D

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"If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem" G.Carlin


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:54 pm 
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Well, Good Sir, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
A good read, if not a good day for you!
I have about an 18 month "head start" on our race to our "dirt naps". (Can't catch me!, nyah nyah!..)
Thanks for a great read!


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:58 pm 
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Greetings Duke,

An Outstanding fifty-sixth Birthday you had. I was raised to treat this as (a saying from my mothers Father), your making Memories. It will follow you, the rest of the days of your Life. A, belated Happy Birthday Duke.

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If you're Waiting on me, you're Late.



1999 Honda Rebel VQR234se
. . . . . 43,000+ Miles . . . . . .


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:55 pm 
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Dismantling, sawzalling, and rattle canning does not make a bobber. That's called an "ANCHOR".
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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:43 pm 
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Thanks, folks,

but seriously, I wasn't really fishing for anything. It is simply that-- after a three-day cooling off period (you know: like before you buy a handgun ;) ), the whole thing struck me as kind of funny, even if in a rather depressing tone. :lol: I figured someone else might get a laugh out of it, too. :lol:


"Like before you buy a handgun."

I'm probably dating myself here, but at least it's a lot less specific than saying I turned 56 on Sunday, right? ;) That line about the handgun just reminded me of one of my favorite TV gags from years ago:

"Okay, I can process your permit, but I can't actually give you the gun until after the mandatory three-day cooling-off period."

"Three days?! But I'm angry _now_!"


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

wheezeburnt wrote:
:hug1:
C'mon. You know you want one. :D


I want them all! On a stick. In a hole. Wrapped with fire.

Even just watching people coming through the warehouse, trying to talk to an employee and some random dingbat at the same time-- doing nothing but wasting everyone's time. And the things just get bigger and bigger and bigger. The make them now that won't fit into any pocket you have. We're raising an entire generation of one-armed workers, simply because no one is capable of letting go of their screen. I recall reading a couple of years ago that there is now an official psychiatric definition for fear of being away from the internet and fear of not having your phone on you. Sad.

The size, though! We went from something you could lose in your front pocket to watching people drive around talking into what appears to be an electronic cookie sheet. :shock: Remember boom boxes back in the 80s? Kids running around with poor quality stereos mounted in boxes slightly larger than my sofa? Carrying around this massive container filled with six-dozen D-cell batteries on their shoulders just to irritate the crap out of everyone around them?

I can't wait until I see some knucklehead talking into a theater-sized screen just to make a phone call.


What's really interesting is the timing. I remember when mobile phones were so huge they actually still had a handset so you didn't have to carry the weight of the receiver. Then they kept getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. My own beat-up antique, when closed, is shorter and narrower than a playing card (though a good bit thicker). When opened, it isn't much longer than a playing card. But they got even smaller and smaller.

Then someone said "hey! Let's put a screen in it!" And they started getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

I just can't help but notice that the full-sized screens started appearing and leaping ahead in popularity right about the time "adult movies" downloaded from the internet became main stream. ;) I am not going to ask for forgiveness for this next statement, because I am reasonably certain that it's correct often enough to justify itself:

I can't help but call the mobile movie theater / adult movies on the internet connection to mind every single time I see someone swap a rather current and fully-functioning portable device just because the new one has almost one-half-a-square-inch more screen than the one they are currently using. :lol:

Even more confusing to me are "tablets." I am actually pretty cool with the e-book concept. Granted, I prefer the musty smell and grainy feel of old books, but when I realize how many books I cull and donate / give (Notice I said "give." "Gift" is a perfectly valid word. It is _not_, however, a stinkin' _verb_ no matter how many chic advertisers would like you believe it. Irritatingly enough, there is already a verb. Following the etymology, "gift" is _exactly_ the noun form of the word "give!" It's not even like "gift" is shorter to say! And then you have to keep cobbling: "Regift!" This is ludicrous, particularly since you can _give_ something, and if you are giving something you received as a gift, you "give" it. If this is the tenth time, you still _give_ it. You don't have to rerererererererereregift it. Trying to verb "gift" doesn't even make sense.)

Okay, bit of a tangent there.....

That one's just me, though. "Gift" as a verb is, to me, almost as viscerally maddening as "hosepipe." I mean, just like when I hear "hosepipe," hearing "I'm going to gift this to them" makes me want to smash the speaker's face with an eight-pound sledge hammer. However, with "gift," I _am_ willing to settle for bare knuckles. With "hosepipe," I can't see anything short of that eight-pound sledge assuaging the rage which that >ahem< 'word' creates. _Huge_ difference there; see? :lol:

Well this went off target a bit.... :rofl:

tablets.

"Hey! I've got a _great_ idea! Let's make a thingy that does less than a computer-- less than even a simple netbook-- and less than a modern cellphone but has a really big screen. Then we'll convince everyone that they need one because of reasons, see? What a great idea. They'll become indispensable!"

From what I've seen, they can be used to play with pictures (though it seems most of them you'll have to e-mail the picture to yourself because even now very few of them have external inputs), read books, and of course.... "watch stuff."

Hoody-rah.

That's critical.

Perfect case in point:

I believe I mentioned our CFO-- the one who decided all the management in the company needed iPhones. Not the Linc phones we've used just fine for over a decade; not regular phones; not regular radios, and not even any sort of smartphones, but specifically we needed to buy a couple-hundred iPhones.

Why?

So we could _text_ each other.

Brilliant. Pressing a button and calling into the radio "Hey, Wardell..."

Beep "Yeah, Duke?"

"I gotta get six yard bags of sand to the Riverhouse job by noon and the both of our piggybacks are out on delivery. Any chance you guys are running this way this morning?"

"No; but we've got a lift-truck sitting idle until the trusses and LVLs show up from Salter sometime late this afternoon. You want me to shoot it your way?"

"You're my hero, Wardell. I owe you, big-time! Thanks, Bubba."

"No problem, Duke. He'll be there in about ninety minutes. Tank it off on your store though, if you would."

"Be glad to. We appreciate the help."


This is a conversation that takes _maybe_ sixty seconds.

By text, it can take up to four business days.


But then it gets better!

In addition to iPhones, we had to have iPads! At least, everyone that doesn't work out of our store had to have iPads. Again: not just any tablet, not even the semi-useful ones like Samsungs or jail-broken Kindles, but specifically iPhones! Why?

So we can look into our computer system with a handy portable device. Never mind that none of us are ever more than forty feet from a terminal directly into the server (and we're only that far away if we're in the furthest stall in the restroom). Never mind that we can do it from those must-have iPhones just as easily. The iPads were an absolute must. have to have those. Too important. Business tool of the future.

Last meeting I attended, the person who instituted all this had his iPhone in his shirt pocket, his iPad laid out in front of him. He'd read from it periodically or tap in a note or two. Then he'd e-mail out of it, log into the netbook right in front of him, open his e-mail, pull out whatever it was he'd "retrieved" from his iPad and either print it out or put it on the projector.

I couldn't help it. I asked him point-blank why he still needed the five-year-old netbook. "Well, it will do things I can't do on the 'pad, like input and output through the hardline network [the confidential stuff is not available wifi for security reasons: you have to physically plug-in].

I had a follow-up. Does the iPad do anything that the iPhone doesn't do?

I didn't get an answer other than an annoyed look and stone silence.

:)

On the plus side, it was the last meeting I was required to attend. :lol:


And I can walk through the back offices anywhere in the company and see dusty iPads strung here and there. I don't know why people love them. Because of the rounded back, they don't even make decent trivets. :( Even the outside sales guys and installers hit the road with their iPhones and (now) seven-year old netbooks. :lol:

Except the Chief that ordered them. He carries his _everywhere_. He doesn't _use_ it for anything but texting (which he can do with his phone; I guess it's nice to have a large-print version handy; I don't know. :lol: Even then, he could type it faster with the keyboard on his netbook. :lol:



Soul Searcher wrote:
Greetings Duke,

An Outstanding fifty-sixth Birthday you had.


Yep. I was "out standing" in the yard; I was "out standing" behind the truck; I was even "out standing" in the garage for a bit while everyone else lost an entire day from their lives. I totally understand a day "all to myself, to accomplish nothing--" I mean, who doesn't enjoy an occasional "naked day," right? I just can't understand how you are taking an entire day for yourself when, at the end of it, you can't recall a single part of it; you don't even know when it ended. :(

Quote:
your making Memories. It will follow you, the rest of the days of your Life.


Nah. I'm off again this Sunday. I plan to shove pipe cleaners deeper and deeper into my sinuses until those particular memories are _gone_. :lol:

Quote:
A, belated Happy Birthday Duke.



Thank you, Sir. Thank you very much. :)

_________________

Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:45 pm 
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Shadow Shack wrote:


I _know_! And I wore it all over town, too!

You think _somebody_ would have noticed, but _nooooo_.....

_________________

Duke
"Skills must be Learned"
------ Herb Christian


"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for _you_."


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 4:00 am 
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Hah. You had me at 'gift'. Verbification drives me NUTS. :evil:
(I see from the photo you've finally trimmed that beard)
brent

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"If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem" G.Carlin


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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:54 pm 
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Duke wrote:
I believe I mentioned our CFO-- the one who decided all the management in the company needed iPhones. Not the Linc phones we've used just fine for over a decade; not regular phones; not regular radios, and not even any sort of smartphones, but specifically we needed to buy a couple-hundred iPhones.

Why?

So we could _text_ each other.

(60 second verbal conversation removed in the interest of conserving quote space)

This is a conversation that takes _maybe_ sixty seconds.

By text, it can take up to four business days.


Texting: the most asinine use of technology. Ever.

I actually got my first plan that includes texting this year. I can't wait to continue not using it.

_________________
"Ride Safe, Chop Safer"
Dismantling, sawzalling, and rattle canning does not make a bobber. That's called an "ANCHOR".
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 Post subject: Re: Let me tell ya 'bout Sunday....
PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 2:43 pm 
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Motorcycle: Rebel 250 plus a few others
Rebel: 250
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As a relatively late Iphone adopter, I find it to be almost as useful as a jack knife. I use the flashlight feature on a regular basis, and I no longer wear a wristwatch since it seems redundant. (that and I'm retired so usually don't care what time it is :D ) .
Back in my flip phone period I used to hate getting text messages because it was excruciatingly difficult to reply without a keyboard. Now I do find them useful for sending written information , photos etc, and also to send a quick message to someone I don't particularly need to talk to. I find most of my phone conversations take less than a minute when I do want to get something done right now.

I also use the phone with my Zumo GPS on my bike. I have a SENA intercom in my helmet that works over bluetooth with the phone and the GPS voice commands. I can answer the Iphone in my pocket just by touching the phone button on the screen when it pops up.

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2004 Honda Rebel 250
2003 BMW K1200GT
2004 BMW R1200GS
1996 Ducati 900SS
1973 Norton 850 Interstate


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